![]() ![]() (Not listening to the guidance / sweeping the guidance under the rug / continuing to suffer). When these emotions are felt, and / but the thoughts are believed to be true anyways, that is ‘sweeping it under the rug’. I'm wondering if it's just brushing it under the rug or am I on the right path here?įrustration, pessimism, impatience, powerlessness, despair Though at the same time it sort of does feel 'right', and does bring a sense of relief etc. Like I'm just brushing it under the rug and not really doing what needs to be done. Felt the same worry and doubt, cause it seemed too easy, like I should try to keep fixing it. Maybe I'm just averting from the feeling by focusing on breathing, rather than feeling it fully and getting through with it. That maybe I was doing something wrong by focusing on breathing and not focusing on the thoughts. Though when doing the breathing thing, and not going down with the thoughts, there was also certain doubt and worry. Ever since the fear and panic has not been a big trouble like it used to be. ![]() The feeling of fear diminished greatly and things got more grounded and centered. I did the same thing, I just focused on breathing and sort of did not go down with the panicy thoughts. About a year ago I noticed something while experiencing fear and panic. This is the 'extremely hard to put into words' part. And there was something that I've encountered before. Then I just lied down and focused on breathing, and 'gave it to God'. I couldn't sleep and that same feeling was rampant, so I felt like stretching a bit and relaxing to the pose, and really feelin it. Haven't found words to really describe it, which also worries me a bit. It sort of feels like a knot that cannot be opened, just incabable to feel better, worry it never passes, just horrible. So I hope you catch the vibe.įrustration, pessimism, impatience, powerlessness, despair has sort of been a theme for some while, and in the past few days more apparent. It's extremely hard to put into words because it's more about feeling and the energy. How could I ever be satisfied like this? It feels super discordant.Ī question. ![]() There is SO MANY women I find attractive. It seems impossible to ever satisfy all this desire and attraction. Eventually I grow old and no-one will desire me, and eventually I will die. It seems like an impossible game, something you can't win. And sometimes it's directed toward other people, sometimes others again. Cause even if you are satisfied for a moment, the longing and desire always comes back. I wonder if it's possible to ever be fully satisfied intimacy - wise. That there is no "the one", or a perfect girlfriend. It's just a thought, an idea, an imagined future. Though I'm starting to think that there is no such person. That I could finally start enjoying life. ![]() I've been waiting for someone special, someone who would make things finally right. Knowing there isn't anyone to talk to, nothing in the future to feel eager about, just. Knowing there isn't anyone here with me tonight. Or maybe some do a bit, or maybe there is something small in many people I like, but there is no "the one". I've gone through Tinder but really just none of them has given that spark. I've tried looking for that spark, that excitem ent, "the one", but I haven't found them. It feels like there is no point in anything if there isn't someone interesting and exciting. It's just so boring and kind of meaningless to be without somebody. I'm feeling frustrated and impatient because it seems impossible and too far away to find someone good for me, "the one". I will always be lazy and inactive, I will never 'get there'. I will always pick my nose and do other nasty things. I will always kinda look funny and weird and not like a movie star. Whatever I try, my breath will always smell like shit. I don't even want to be there either, since it just seems like a horrible fucking pressure. I'll never be that, because I'm here now. It's just thought, imagination, a mirage. Who would be loved by his friends and partners. I've tried to be a human everyone looks up to and loves and adores and wants to be with. I've tried all that, I've tried being admired, smart, attractive, special. I don't want to try become special, loved, admired, rich, active, successful, cool and attractive. I don't want to stress and work so that I can have the money, the loving relationship, the sex, the awakening, the whatever. I don't want to constantly worry and make effort and stress and try and work. ![]()
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